Trying to understand You.

Do you ever feel like you are distant? When I say distant, I mean removed. Maybe twice removed. You are a living, breathing being, yet you don't feel like you are on earth.

Distant. Here but not here.

I feel sometimes like I am going through the motions of life so much that I could be compared to a robot. I barely feel emotions or life itself. Then I wonder what is wrong with me? Is it something that I did to get me to this state? How do I get out of it? Or the real dreaded question: Am I supposed to be at this season in life for a reason? Hate admitting it, but that's probably true.

I am trying to understand how to walk this weary land. I know where I want to be, how I want to feel, what I want to desire. But what happens when you don't and nothing in you wants to do anything to get there? Frustrated doesn't scratch the surface. I heard once that change starts with discomfort. At this rate, I'm going to be a new person in no time. :)

I am seeking you, Lord. With all that I am. I am so thankful that when nothing in me or of me is good--You ARE. Thank you.